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I’m Changing…And That’s OK

Change is a part of life that many of us DO NOT LIKE. We have a routine, we know where things are at. We’re good. When we have to change the way we do things it’s not pretty. When I started middle school I was sad. I moved to a different part of town, lived in a new house, and eventually made a few friends. We moved again and I started another middle school. I was transferred to three different classrooms because they didn’t know where to place me. Eventually, they moved me back to the first class I attended – the honors class. All the kids knew each other. The cliques were strong. I felt so out of place. Between and during lessons, I doodled in my notebook. My go-to were stars, hearts, and flowers. While my classmates talked to one another I doodled and wrote poems and songs.

Lesson: Find a way to occupy yourself when you have no one to talk to you.

Things got better for me. I was cool with everyone in class, but I was never given that extended welcome from the friend groups. When I went home I was still playing with my Barbie’s. Barbie was my escape. I would dress her up pretty and create epic scenes for her to act out.

“You know you’re talking to yourself,” my older sister chimed in one day as I played in my brother’s room. She walked away. I looked at my Barbie’s. These plastic, glamorous-looking things were in my hand, and realized that my sister was right. I was talking to myself. SO WHAT! I continued to play. Eventually, soap operas, music videos, and tons of schoolwork took over my life. As much as I wanted to ignore my sister’s words, maybe I was getting too big to play with her. I packed up my dolls and put them in a box. Then the unexpected happened the day before The Fourth of July. My darling sister told me that I was entering womanhood. Womanhood? I just turned 12 years old!  I was changing. Everything was happening awfully fast. I didn’t like it at all.

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